Too Afraid

I’m afraid of falling then evetually be falling apart.

I’m afraid of getting back into whole then be broken back again into pieces.

Why am i so vulnerable?

why am i so fragile with my emotion?

why am i emotionally weak?

how can i possibly protect myself?

why am i too scared to be acquainted with people?

why am i afraid of falling for them?

here i am again, falling for someone. i am now weighing things and trying to balance them all but the other end seemed to be a bit heavier. am i just too acquainted with my comfort zone? am i too sensitive?

but who could blame a firefly longing for the warmth of its cage, the sense of security that is actually in it?

can this early beginning end too soon?

im sick and tired of winning the battles i never fought for! i am damn fucking tired of protecting my unshielded comfort zone!

 

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June 8, 2012 at 1:47 pm 1 comment

Questions of a Coward

-Disclaimer, this is just an unpublished post, it doenst mean anything personal. haha yeah it does but that was ages ago ^_^

 

I’m afraid of falling then evetually be falling apart.

I’m afraid of getting back into whole then be broken back again into pieces.

Why am i so vulnerable?

why am i so fragile with my emotion?

why am i emotionally weak?

how can i possibly protect myself?

why am i too scared to be acquainted with people?

why am i afraid of falling for them?

here i am again, falling for someone. i am now weighing things and trying to balance them all but the other end seemed to be a bit heavier. am i just too acquainted with my comfort zone? am i too sensitive?

but who could blame a firefly longing for the warmth of its cage, the sense of security that is actually in it?

can this early beginning end too soon?

im sick and tired of winning the battles i never fought for! i am damn fucking tired of protecting my unshielded comfort zone!

May 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm Leave a comment

Just Move On

Wanting,
needing,
to be held,
to be loved,
to feel warmth,
to feel your beating heart.
Wanting to be sheltered from the cold,
heartless winds.
Falling into invisible arms;
into an abyss of love.
Wishing,
hoping,
that my desires will be filled;
my desires of loving warmth.
Wanting to be held,
comforted,
loved.
Dreaming of passionate embraces,
of tender kisses,
loving words,
romantic nights.
Waiting for undying love.
How do you walk away
from someone you love
And take the road of friend;
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?
I don’t really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we’ve loved . . . the times you’ve left
My heart says stay . . . but it’s my mind I must trust.
We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;Yet sometimes we can’t turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

-Dawn D

May 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm 2 comments

An Open Letter

I always dream of creating an open letter to myself. A letter that will always tell me of the do’s and dont’s in life. Yet my life is as broad as the universe..It has been magical yet tragic, as well..It is dramatic and comical but wonderful indeed. It is sometimes half full and sometimes half empty. My life is fluctuating and is way similar to the one who controls it..Unpredictable..I had the best of both worlds..And as i paint my life in its best and worst, i know I’m not even in the middle of my journey. People come and go. Friends aren’t permanent. lovers don’t stay for long. They leave physically yet they own places in my heart. I tend to become bitter at first but sooner I realize, that is life..And I can’t make them stay with me forever. Maybe I just learned what ACCEPTANCE is all about..to do what is best even if it’s against your will..I just make the most out of it while they are with me because you may never know when they will go. So I walk continuously, run if there’s a need to go extra mile, fly even if I know it’s not yet the time to. But I often crawl. I crawl way back to LOVE; way back to my dreams and delightful imaginations; way back to my families; way back to GOD, to myself, to my FOCUS. History repeats itself and every scene of my life is totally unique in its own way. Yet they have one storyline, lesson and struggle for HAPPINESS and CONTENTMENT..I haven’t found it yet but my boat never sinks and it will never loose its direction towards it.. I know i”ll be there with my family someday.. And as I go day and night without knowing which one the moon or the sun is, I sing my heart out-loud in search for that one place that offers nothing but PEACE and SERENITY that my soul is all wishing for..

May 14, 2012 at 12:05 pm Leave a comment

Letting Go and Moving On

“When i was younger i always believe that the sun, the stars and the moon were the ones who are following  me but when i grew up i found out that it was me”

I am a wide-eyed wanderer. I always enjoy life. I always live it the way it should be but sometimes there are rough roads and i should get through it. I remember when i was younger; when i was just learning how to walk i always fall. As a child i always cry because it is too painful and sometimes i even got bruised. My mom always lend her hands to me, she keeps on saying that i can do it.

At first i don’t want to let go of her hands but she said that i will not learn if i won’t let go. It is only when i grew up that I’ve understood what she told me.

“We should learn the art of letting go”

As we move, as we travel the road of life, there are times that we will stumble and fall, but we should stand. One day someone will dump us but eventually someone will just make another meaning to our lives. Only then that we would know, there would be things we thought we own but actually we never really did.

Letting go and holding on. Two of the most frequently heard issues in life and love.

As what i always said, GOODBYE is the most painful word. But how come it is called as goodbye. Is there such thing as goodbye? If there is any, is there someone who actually said goodbye in the most acceptable way? Maybe there is actually a way on how to say it, hhhmmm? Will we ever learn how to say it well? Goodbye is one of the words that i never wanted either to say or to hear. But there would always be one time in our life that even if we don’t want to say goodbye, we will. We will always be hearing goodbyes to anyone. To our friend who will have to take another road in life, our family who will eventually be taken away from us and to our things we borrowed from him. When we let go, we should be strong. We should always bite at its brighter side. Just come to think that GOD will always be taking away something from us because he has something better to give. With letting go we should grow as a person. We never should waste our lives just because someone bid farewell.

With letting go we should learn to hold on. We should bear in mind that everyone has their own fate and that someone will always have to say goodbye. We should face it not to conceal it. Yes! Our friends and our families will leave us thus it should be when we would learn how to hold on. We should hold on not with the thoughts that we still have them but with the memories we built with them.

Moving on is a different story. If we never wanted to forget memories with someone then we should hold on but if we are more than willing to forget them that would only be the time that we should move on.

May 13, 2012 at 10:20 am Leave a comment

FALLING OR FAILING IN LOVE

What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don’t know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can’t be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature – the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn’t that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

 

May 5, 2012 at 1:47 pm 9 comments

The Way I See Life

Life is an undying cycle. It is a battle of survival. If you quit then you’re a loser, if you fall then stand up, for if you keep complaining about the miseries of your life, nothing will happen. Life would sometimes be favourable for you but most of the times it throws heavy stones and painful thorns.

Is life tough? For me, hell it is! Life started at the moment of conception and would end as our hearts shed its last beat and it is a long run for us to surpass and overcome those stones and thorns. Life is matter of choice, choice if we should go left even if the arrows tell us to go right and to go up even when t he barriers above tell us to just stay below. Life is sometimes, or should I say is always a tortuous pathway, there is always these crossroads that scares the shit out of us. Life, as they may say, is an unending LABYRINTH for which when you started walking you never should stop. Along the way you would meet and hug sorrows, frustrations victory and all that. But as I may say, it is only a straight path with only rights and lefts. The choice is all in our hands to decide which way to go. GOD gave us every reason to succeed but why is it that almost everyone is still failing. GOD gave us every reason to walk ahead straight but why almost everyone had lost their way. Because as they walk the seemingly straight road anger, getting-even, hatred, pain and even jealousy had filled-up their minds so it was like this “they are walking along blind-folded” and it is when they lose their way.
Struggles are GOD given. We were born with it hence we should live with it. Struggles ought to make us learn and tough inside and out though we have to always protect our vulnerability but we should never fear to show our emotions because it might disguise who we really are. Some had given up, some had almost killed themselves and some just did because they just don’t even know how to handle things.

Life is painful yet it is blissful. Since the dawn of everything, life still keeps on surprising us and we should never get surprised, we should expect the worst of everything. We should never let anyone ruin our vulnerability because this is where we protect ourselves from any harm that anybody might be inflicting us. Struggles should never ever ruin our dreams. We should Dream as much as we could, as hard as we could, dream while we are still living, we should never give up dreaming because it is just one of the few things that we can carry on our grave. Another chapter might end as we write another chapter of our life, but always bear in mind that much has yet to be written and our book is far from ending.

April 25, 2012 at 1:21 pm Leave a comment

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